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[deadlyjuliet]

[The journal clicks on with the sound of a chainsaw dying away in the background.]

Augh, Will, are we done yet? I swear, this sea water is wrecking havoc on my--

...

[The sound of water and waves and not much else follows for a moment.]

Where...? ...! Where are all the bodies?! And the ice?! WILLIAM, DID YOU JUST LEAVE ME IN THIS BOAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ATLANTIC?! WILL?! RONALD! Ronald Knox, so help me, if you took off just because of a little overtime, I am going to---!! Ugh! Will! Wii---

...ngs?

...Why.....do I have wings? ...WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS MY SHIRT?!

Comments

nothing

[simplestgift]

[Should he or shouldn't he?

He really, really shouldn't. He's imagining Buffy yelling at him right now. So for now, he won't respond. He'll merely monitor her progress. Not at all checking to see if she's about to destroy their quarterboat, if that's indeed the boat she's in, or who she's potentially about to destroy.

That, and he's just scared. Not very Navy of him.]

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[deadlyjuliet]

[Having seen the journal now, she's going to talk into it at the written note.]

A guide? A guide for what? Being left afloat in the middle of the ocean with a back ache and a change to my flawless design? Who is this?

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[simplestgift]

[Aw man, she's still adrift?

...Buffy is going to kill him.]

A guide that will explain everything. Can you see shore?

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[deadlyjuliet]

I see a good deal of water and not much else.

Oh, seaweed. That's new.

[Grell sighs.]

Tell me, Mr. Mystical Book, why is there a guide for people you decide to leave at sea? And where did William go? I'd even settle for Ronald at this point.

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[simplestgift]

Everyone has a book like yours. Your name should be on the cover.

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[deadlyjuliet]

...

[Good lord, he's right.]

...Ugh, this is getting more and more complicated and I am not in the mood to put in overtime of this nature.

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[simplestgift]

Does the boat have a sail?

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[deadlyjuliet]

You tell me, Mr. Book. Does it seem to have a sail?

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[simplestgift]

I can't see it. I'm not a book, I'm a man using his own book to communicate with you. It's what they do, you know.

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[deadlyjuliet]

...And you do know how daft that sounds, yes?

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[simplestgift]

More daft than a talking book?

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[deadlyjuliet]

....Point.

So, man at the other end of this book, if you can't see, there is no sail. However, there is one oar and not much else.

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[simplestgift]

No sail
Only one oar
No shore in sight.

[Buffy is going to kill him. He should let her rot in that boat for what she did to Jack, but for all he knows, this Grell is from an earlier time and completely innocent. Ish.]

Very well. You must take up the oar and row west. Two strokes on one side, then two on the other. [No compass, Archie. Damn.] You can't see anything but water?

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[deadlyjuliet]

Water, water....seaweed. Rather desolate country you have here. Then again, it isn't full of dead people so that is one up from where I was a moment ago.

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[simplestgift]

[Hard at work, huh, Grell?]

If there's seaweed, you must be near shore somewhere.

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[deadlyjuliet]

[Actually, yes.]

At the very least, they could have left the ice. It's so much easier to get back if there is something to step on.

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[simplestgift]

They left you in a boat, and that's better. Now stop your griping and row toward the weeds.

[That's when he realizes he just told Grell to stop griping. It's like telling Cthulhu to shut up and sit down. Interesting. Empowering.]

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[deadlyjuliet]

[O-oh. A take charge man. Who was rude. She likes that.]

....A-ah....

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[deadlyjuliet]

[Okay, that lasted all of about 20 seconds.]

But what if I were to break a nail?

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[simplestgift]

It'll grow back. [And Archie's being treated to memories of waking up adrift in the vastness of the ocean himself, so this is all kinds of fun.] Would you rather stay out there till you die of dehydration, or worse, boredom?

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[deadlyjuliet]

Boredom seems the more likely.

[Sigh]

Fiiine, I shall try to find someone to get me back by...rowing. I'm sure someone out here is enough of a prince.

[simplestgift]

And how is this prince to get out to you, without knowing where on the ocean you are?

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[deadlyjuliet]

How do I know? He said to sit and he shall come to find me.

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[simplestgift]

If you can't see shore from where you are, he must have a boat. Even then, finding you when you could be anywhere...

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[deadlyjuliet]

He said something about a bird and considering how utterly insane this place seems to be, I shan't question it until I see it.