deadlyjuliet | ♥1 audio

Current Location: middle of the ocean

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♥1 audio

[The journal clicks on with the sound of a chainsaw dying away in the background.]

Augh, Will, are we done yet? I swear, this sea water is wrecking havoc on my--

...

[The sound of water and waves and not much else follows for a moment.]

Where...? ...! Where are all the bodies?! And the ice?! WILLIAM, DID YOU JUST LEAVE ME IN THIS BOAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ATLANTIC?! WILL?! RONALD! Ronald Knox, so help me, if you took off just because of a little overtime, I am going to---!! Ugh! Will! Wii---

...ngs?

...Why.....do I have wings? ...WHERE THE BLOODY HELL IS MY SHIRT?!

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[If only you could see the color drain from someone's face, Grell, when he hears your voice.]

[...She doesn't remember.

He breathes through his mouth to make as little sound as possible, a trick he picked up in his teens, as he switches on the audio, trying to think of whether or not to answer.

He should leave her be. Allow the severed connection to remain severed. He forgives her, and she is no longer burdened with the memory. Everything is perfect. If he draws her attention, it only opens up more problems.

But the closure. An audible inhalation as he prepares to speak...]

[...Along with an audible exhalation as he realizes how stupid an idea this is. It's not even her he wants closure with. It never has been. She, and everyone like her, is only a substitute for another.

Welcome to Purgatory.

Still, he can't leave her out in the cold. So he switches to writing and offers:]

Leaf through this long enough and you'll find a guide.

[Sadly, writing is not something she will notice right now. Instead, Archie gets the nice treat of listening to her kick at the boat, grumbling.]

If you wanted to see me undressed so badly, Will, you could have had the decency to stay about for it.

...Bother, but it's cold out. Where is this even? Did I drift out to sea?

[Should he or shouldn't he?

He really, really shouldn't. He's imagining Buffy yelling at him right now. So for now, he won't respond. He'll merely monitor her progress. Not at all checking to see if she's about to destroy their quarterboat, if that's indeed the boat she's in, or who she's potentially about to destroy.

That, and he's just scared. Not very Navy of him.]

Edited 2012-03-05 04:50 (UTC)

[Having seen the journal now, she's going to talk into it at the written note.]

A guide? A guide for what? Being left afloat in the middle of the ocean with a back ache and a change to my flawless design? Who is this?

[Aw man, she's still adrift?

...Buffy is going to kill him.]

A guide that will explain everything. Can you see shore?

I see a good deal of water and not much else.

Oh, seaweed. That's new.

[Grell sighs.]

Tell me, Mr. Mystical Book, why is there a guide for people you decide to leave at sea? And where did William go? I'd even settle for Ronald at this point.

Everyone has a book like yours. Your name should be on the cover.

...

[Good lord, he's right.]

...Ugh, this is getting more and more complicated and I am not in the mood to put in overtime of this nature.

Does the boat have a sail?

You tell me, Mr. Book. Does it seem to have a sail?

I can't see it. I'm not a book, I'm a man using his own book to communicate with you. It's what they do, you know.

...And you do know how daft that sounds, yes?

More daft than a talking book?

....Point.

So, man at the other end of this book, if you can't see, there is no sail. However, there is one oar and not much else.

No sail
Only one oar
No shore in sight.

[Buffy is going to kill him. He should let her rot in that boat for what she did to Jack, but for all he knows, this Grell is from an earlier time and completely innocent. Ish.]

Very well. You must take up the oar and row west. Two strokes on one side, then two on the other. [No compass, Archie. Damn.] You can't see anything but water?

Water, water....seaweed. Rather desolate country you have here. Then again, it isn't full of dead people so that is one up from where I was a moment ago.

[Hard at work, huh, Grell?]

If there's seaweed, you must be near shore somewhere.

[Actually, yes.]

At the very least, they could have left the ice. It's so much easier to get back if there is something to step on.

They left you in a boat, and that's better. Now stop your griping and row toward the weeds.

[That's when he realizes he just told Grell to stop griping. It's like telling Cthulhu to shut up and sit down. Interesting. Empowering.]

Edited 2012-03-06 04:44 (UTC)

[O-oh. A take charge man. Who was rude. She likes that.]

....A-ah....

[Okay, that lasted all of about 20 seconds.]

But what if I were to break a nail?

It'll grow back. [And Archie's being treated to memories of waking up adrift in the vastness of the ocean himself, so this is all kinds of fun.] Would you rather stay out there till you die of dehydration, or worse, boredom?

Boredom seems the more likely.

[Sigh]

Fiiine, I shall try to find someone to get me back by...rowing. I'm sure someone out here is enough of a prince.

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